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Omar J Sakr

Omar SakrOmar J Sakr is an Arab Australian poet whose work has appeared in Meanjin, Overland, Cordite Poetry Review, and Tincture Journal, among others. His poems have been translated and published in Arab, and he has been shortlisted for the Judith Wright Poetry Prize as well as the ACU Poetry Prize.

   
 

Dear Mama

Don’t preach to me, mama, don’t tell me stories
about some holy book or other, about angels, demons and jinn –
I’ve already learned too well the religion of your fists.
My body has drummed its song, the gospel choir of bruises
so often it knows no other, and at night I still mumble
the chorus: sharp gasps interspersed with bass, with low moans.
Your god is capricious, strikes without reason – some days
(the days you had gear, I later knew) you’d smile and order us pizza
and we’d sit in the smoky temple of the lounge while your silver screen
apostles entertained us, spat & bled & fucked & loved & died
for us. Those days were best. Others were Nails-On-Chalkboard,
a kind of screaming at the edge of hearing – your cheekbones, jaw,
elbow, everything was knife sharp and cut against the air
even though your teeth were set, lips locked prison-tight.
Like tinnitus, I knew only I could hear it but I swear
your body screeched in warning those mornings, and we learned
to read your augurs in cigarette smoke, the signs prophesying pain
if we didn’t become paragons of stillness and silence. Later, you
told me you saw my treacherous father in me even as a boy,
that you hated the sight of my face, the reminder
that his sins were burned too clearly in my skin.

I remember the day the locksmith came, his confusion, then pity,
when he asked ‘you want the lock outside his door?’ He hesitated
but took your petty cash reward to seal my cage. If only
you knew how I made that cell my world, so expansive and free –
hundreds of books, each one a key. How could you think
walls would contain me? I ought to thank you, dear mama,
for the prayers I memorized, for the blessing of hunger, the urge
for independence you sang into my bones, percussion-deep,
and the need to travel, to roam across the lands and seas and discover
all that can be seen. I ought to thank you, dear mama, for your piousness,
for showing me the cruelty and beauty of God and godlessness
all at once, for teaching me that holiness is no more
than moments shared with those you love whether bonded by blood
or not. Especially not. I ought to thank you dear mama, but I can’t.
The mosque is empty, and I’m all outta prayers.

Damen O’Brien

Damen O'BrienDamen is a Queensland poet, and has been writing for the last 20 years. He is currently working as a Contracts Manager for an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle company. Damen has been published in Cordite and The Courier Mail, and has won or been highly commended in the Yeats Poetry Prize, the Nillumbik Ekphrasis Poetry Award, Ipswich Poetry Festival, the Philip Bacon Ekphrasis Prize, and the FAW Tasmania Poetry Prize.

 

 

What Poem Would The Mining Companies Tell Lionel Fogarty?

In between howls that could be poems,
Lionel tells us that he is teaching the black kids poetry.
To a bunch of white middle class mainstreamers,
he’s reciting poems in monochrome bullets
about hate, and guilt and history, and we don’t miss the irony.
In between the dressing-down that could be poems,
he asks us what will the mining companies teach
his black kids about themselves? Every other word
is the whip, and the blessing: black. Black, black, black
is the poem Lionel Fogarty tells the mining companies,
and the mining companies who know about holes in the ground
echo it back to him. Black, black, black.

Natalie Rose Dyer

NatalieNatalie Rose Dyer is currently completing her PhD in Creative Writing at Melbourne University with an Australian Postgraduate Award. She received a BA with first class Honours in Cinema (2006) and an MCA (2010) from The University of Melbourne. She is currently working on her first book of poetry. The title poem ‘The Butcher’s Daughter’ appeared in 3/2014 Meanjin Literary Journal. Her work is also published in 2014 University of Canberra Vice Chancellor’s International Poetry Prize Anthology. Her first solo art exhibition was at Bokeh Gallery in Daylesford (2014). Her blog can be viewed at www.natalierosedyer.com

 

Haired

My bestial presence ever-present,
first noticed at primary school.
The other girls had unhaired legs,
mine outpoured like a simian species.
I wanted to run right out of the playground,
but was stuck there in my body
with awareness of myself half-manned.
Not just on my legs, later I discovered
black-weeded death above my lip,
the barnacled beard of stray hairs came later,
shower of dusty dark wired pubic tendrils
in my armpits, though not as thick as
the German girls witnessed in the change room,
shamed her for not shaving it off
to my friends later. But she was just like me,
covered in latticed thread to her mid-thigh,
hiding the underling, centre of blood
unmasked, which we all waited on expectantly.
There was even more hair knitted,
a furry rainbow that arched over my eyes,
fighting for my life against the insults
until I waxed it off, even then –
naked of hair, I hid behind my wintry coat,
an Athenic shield made invisible,
preparing to fight, sharpening, having
torn from myself the bushy blessing
through wanting to fit in, but never quite able
to take it all off, my furry blood
at the hinge of my sex, a creature stirring.

Hessom Razavi

HessomHessom is an Iranian-born doctor who grew up in Pakistan and the UK before moving to Australia. His itinerant life colours his interest in culture, human rights and awesome Middle Eastern food. He is grateful to his Mum, siblings and partner Megan for keeping him in line.

 
 
 

Kandy dream

Hot quadrangle lined with
neon-yellow bananas,
sunrise papayas, king coconuts;
the din of cleavers,
steaming mutton,
rubble of intestines and
red-eyed crows;
Station Road, Kandy.

‘Halō! Āyubōvan! A salaam aleykum!’
Clamour and pang of
new markets, stall-faces of
cardamom eyes, Aryuvedic oil nostrils,
tea leaf lips: white, cinnamon,
vanilla shoots, taking root after
the weeding.

Tea for Katherine, tea for Mum,
ethnic, clean, gift-shopper’s dream.

News clipping on the tea-shelf
slips, grainy image of a Tamil man.
Naked in handcuffs, blindfold-tie trailing
as he tips into a marsh,
Kalashnikov singing his lullaby.
Hurriedly shuffled away, back to
talk of tea and Kandy.

Rose Hunter

Rose Hunter pic (150x200)Rose Hunter is the author of three books of poetry: You As Poetry (Texture Press, Oklahoma), [four paths] (Texture Press), and the river (Artistically Declined Press, Oregon). A chapbook of her poems is forthcoming from Dancing Girl Press (Chicago), and she will appear in the anthology Bend River Mountain (Regime Books, Perth). She has been or will soon be published in such journals as Cordite, Australian Poetry Journal, Regime, Geist, New World Writing, DIAGRAM, PANK, The Nervous Breakdown, Verity La, and The Los Angeles Review. She is from Brisbane, spent many years in North America, and is now in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. She also works as a freelance editor. More information about her is available at Whoever Brought Me Here Will Have To Take Me Home (http://rosehunterblog.wordpress.com).

  

el edén

to strike or dash (esp.) sharp collision
to have an effect; to make an impression to have an effect
or impact (esp.) a negative one, to take a bit of negative out
of that, big shouldered, paredón; to advance, encroach
       on an area belonging to (esp.
but you went over into the death world

with those others, so many from the white room, what is it
i asked, something like punishment; impinge also

       in the sense of shoulder, never
the bolder the lime green the rarer the bougainvillea
the whiter the surface the dearer the to whomever it may concern
descanso: alonso lopes guardado; same day different year
his birth date and your death date. how

do they do it don’t they know you died here, nearby
bikini sweating on the rocks helicopter mistletoe
       skeleton house, lazy dog and palomino

magic wand bridge one eyed fence canyon plunge, buggy
       tiny flimsy that killed you

Jake Goetz

uow172646Jake Goetz lives in the southern suburbs of Sydney. He has also lived in Munich, Germany (2011) and Graz, Austria (2013) where he studied on exchange. His poetry has appeared in The Sun Herald, Rabbit, Voiceworks, Jaws (Austria), Tide and Otoliths. He completed a Creative Writing Degree at the University of Wollongong, receiving an Asiabound fellowship to Sun Yat-Sen University in China. He is a fiction editor for Mascara.

 

 

 

Rudimentary sketches

… still dreaming
of Russian Pacific seas
sprouting Swedish palms
and a Peruvian woman
with lorikeet eyes
translating nationalism
as breathing – the morning
like a border-less idea
wie in einem großen kreis angeordnet
aber mit anderen namen

*

wind carries the sound
of a train to my door
and i think of waves forming
only to fold like impatient arms
in the local medical centre
and how unnatural it is
to look at the self
in the mirror

*

tree stump sits on brick ledge
wet from rain, dew hangs
from iron fence, could be watery eyes
peering into the late-morning
but it’s mostly dew and a Cockatoo sounds
cigarette burns, feet rest upon pebbles
as shade separates the yard
and a plane moves like a container
of consciousness, banking left
over the Royal to tip out into the city

Geoff Page reviews “The Poets’ Stairwell” by Alan Gould

Article Lead - narrow980403841mdc74image.related.articleLeadNarrow.353x0.1mdcg0.png1428471470242.jpg-300x0The Poets’ Stairwell

by Alan Gould

Black Pepper

ISBN: 9781876044800

Reviewed by GEOFF PAGE

First, a disclosure. I have known the poets Kevin Hart and Alan Gould, the “real life” protagonists of this autobiographical novel, for more than forty years. While this must inevitably intensify the pleasure I take in the work, it should not necessarily undermine my judgement that The Poets’ Stairwell is a first-rate creation which can travel well in any company. It is also something of a coup for its relatively small Melbourne publisher.

Among the work’s numerous merits is that it operates as several sorts of novel at the same time. It wears the term “picaresque” in its subtitle and there is no doubt that it comprises a journey with humorous episodes — a “road movie”, if you will. It is also, however, a novel of ideas, comparable to Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain in which each of the major characters cleverly embodies a way of thought popular in the nineteenth century. Given that it presents a comprehensive and searching portrayal of two very different temperaments, The Poets’ Stairwell can also be called a psychological novel. Gould’s talent is that he can keep these three potentially diverging ambitions in the air simultaneously without mishap.

At one level, the narrative of The Poets’ Stairwell is quite  simple. Two young Australian poets, Claude Boon and Henry Luck (both of them London-born, as it happens) are on their backpacking “Grand Tour” of Europe in 1976. Henry, a few years Claude’s junior, is prodigiously well-read and sometimes unbearably sure of himself — intellectually at least, if not socially. Claude, or Boon, as he prefers to be called, is the novel’s narrator and perhaps something of its Sancho Panza (though Henry Luck is a little more worldly than Don Quixote).

Together, they make a low-budget tour of Europe which includes London, Ireland, Paris, Venice, Florence, Assisi, Rome, Istanbul, Athens, Vienna, Prague and Rotterdam in roughly that order. Henry is a good deal less adventurous about accommodation than Boon but, with a few crises, they manage to travel companionably throughout. While Boon, more than a little under the influence of Nietzsche, is becoming increasingly aware of his historical muse, Luck is, in effect, converting to Roman Catholicism.

As with all picaresque tales, a cast of diverting (and somewhat emblematic) characters is encountered. These include Luck’s long-distance London girlfriend, Rhee, and her friend, Eva, a talented dancer and fervent Marxist. Another character, Beamish, the anarchist, represents a more reckless and self-destructive alternative to the relatively sedate lives the poets envisage for their later selves. A few of these characters re-appear, somewhat coincidentally, at various points in the poets’ wanderings. Others pop up for one or two chapters only.

Paradoxically, Luck, the younger poet, seems to be the more mature intellectually and perhaps even morally, having a clear (if overly precise) idea of what he wants and what he doesn’t want from life. Boon is much more  open to new experiences. Luck is inclined to close himself off from them, sometimes with disdain. He does, however, display some vulnerabilities and it is a sign of Boon’s developing maturity that he is able compassionately to take these into account.

Though there is much talk of “finding one’s muse” the adventures and aesthetic discussions along the way are of wider relevance than the novel’s subtitle may at first suggest. A sense of vocation, as opposed to a money-spinning “day-job”, is by no means a rare thing these days — though the vocation may take some years to emerge clearly (with perhaps one or two false starts along the way).

A recurrent thematic concern in this context is embodied in the Latin proverb “poeta nascitur non fit” (“a poet is born, not made”). Enough of Boon’s and Luck’s earlier lives is given to support the “made” half of the maxim while the temperaments displayed on their travels reveal a good deal about the “born” side. Clearly, as Gould makes plain, there are different muses and different sorts of poets. It is a sign of both young men’s growth that they come progressively to realise this about the other — even if that progress is not always evenly made.

Such realizations give rise to many of the more affecting moments in the novel. One is Boon’s early decision (suggested to him by a drunken, if aristocratic, Irishman) not to leave the somewhat annoying and inhibited Henry  in the lurch and go off on his own. Another, much later in the novel, is where Luck, without even trying or fully realising what he is doing, contrives to set a female American plumber, Martha, on the way to a new life and career in philosophy and academia.

Boon’s account of her departure for the U.S. is also an example of the novel’s sharply focussed yet relaxed style:

‘This has been the best day of my life,’ she managed. ‘I’ll write you,’ and showed in her notebook where she had taken down Henry’s Brisbane address. Then the door closed with a pfffft, and she was gone.

‘She seemed moved,’ Henry looked puzzled.

‘She was moved’

‘I’ve no idea what I did,’ he looked genuinely helpless. ‘ I just rattled off what any book could tell her. Why was she so moved?’

By the book’s denouement, Gould fictionally varies what is publicly known of “Henry”’s (or Hart’s) subsequent career but the twists, at the psychological level, may be insightful even so. The rather anti-climactic update on the Boon-Luck friendship provided in the book’s last paragraph is sadly convincing. Boon writes to Rhee, who has stayed in London and remained in contact with Henry long past the end of their relationship, saying merely: “If you see him, wish him well.”

Henry and Boon’s “Grand Tour” has served its necessary and important developmental purpose. There is no need for a postscript updating us on the poets’ fortunes after they emerge from the “stairwell”. The novel is sharply focussed on key events in their parallel and interacting lives as young men. Anything more would be material for other, very different novels — one of which Gould has, in effect, already attempted in The Seaglass Spiral.

 

GEOFF PAGE is a Canberra-based poet and critic. He is editor of The Best Australian Poets, 2015.

 

Prithvi Varatharajan

Prithvi Varatharajan is a PhD candidate at the University of Queensland, and a freelance producer of literature and arts programs for ABC Radio National. He is writing his PhD thesis on the radio program Poetica, which aired on ABC RN from 1997 to 2014. He has published scholarly, critical and creative writing in various Australian and overseas journals and books. His article on a Poetica adaptation of John Forbes’ poetry is forthcoming in a special issue of Adaptation titled ‘Adapting Australia

 

Ecstasy

the streets are wide open
leading you through a bleak
and beautiful future

rain slakes down,
slashing at the jacket
you hold dearly

by its sleeve, your chin
tucked in

we leg it over the bridge
to a dimly imagined
destination

lights of the park,
brilliant in their unreality
glisten as we pass

their globes hold pure warmth
that ebbs into the night
like a promise of happiness 

 

Country. Car Window.

late afternoon’s
division of road,

its sleek black skin
pared open
by white

the white, a crumb-trail
to a near horizon

the white, the pulse
of something
nearly forgotten

above the road
a kookaburra
shabby in a tree
laughs deliriously

rogue hay bales
roll motionless

on a field
so vast the eye
blurs at its edges

and a fence of slouching steel
lengthens to a darkening
distance, linking

infinite horizons
with apparent ease.

James Byrne

James photo colourJames Byrne is a poet and editor, born near London in 1977. His most recent poetry collections are White Coins (Arc Publications, 2015) and Everything Broken Up Dances, Tupelo Press 2015. Other collections include Blood/Sugar (Arc 2009) and Soapboxes, a pamphlet of political satires (KFS, 2014).

Byrne is a translator and editor. He co-edited the first anthology of Burmese poetry to be published in the West (Arc, 2012, Northern Illinois University Press 2013) and Voice Recognition: 21 Poets for the 21st Century, an anthology of poets under 35, published by Bloodaxe in 2009. Since 2002 he has edited The Wolf, an internationally-renowned poetry magazine.

His poems have been translated into various languages, including Arabic, Burmese and Chinese. In 2009 he won the Treci Trg poetry prize in Serbia and, as a result, his Selected Poems: The Vanishing House was published in Belgrade. He was the Poet in Residence at Clare Hall, University of Cambridge and a Stein Fellow of New York University where he completed an MFA in poetry.

Currently living in Liverpool, England, he teaches poetry at Edge Hill University.
 

Home

They said I came out with a thorn in my foot—
hillcloud child who spoke with a large name,
blossy among broken hedges and molten fields.

When the house hellbelled I retouched an image
of hyaline mists gridlocked to corn. The memory
of sky over Pankridge Farm held like a salve.

I listened to the beginning patience in a voice
until it was clamant, exasperated to pure nerve—
‘Home’ it repeated. ‘Home. Come home’.

 
from ‘Economies of the Living’

The Eagle

Yeats in his psychopomp. Blavatsky
a lion among quadrapets. Similitudes.
As if accolades were lofty as cliffs.

Maud Gonne pursued, but as worthy
conquest? I would rather be a falcon
or rook, with mischief to provoke her.

Brother, remember how we cast ourselves
as children carried off by Scottish eagles.
Found affrighted but reclaimed by parents.

 
The Hummingbird

Hazelnut. Feathered black, brownish and
green. Traitor to the flower press, luxuriant
but uselessly sportive, uselessly fluttering.

Female’s the architect. Male: a panicked
fetcher of cottoned twigs, vegetable fibres.
Skivvy for cloudhouses suspended in air.

A family of silken music caged by Labat
for rats. We are purposed for pleasure.
Touch the wings to kill its instrument.

 
The Horse

Europe’s incommode: it is not free
to roam continents like the horse did.
Tack, yield, never knowing winter.

Turnstiled like prisoners of the sedan.
Tractable and familiar. The Bedouin
shares his tent with foals, surrenders

his courser mare to the French consul.
The things a horse has traded for gold.
Closely farried, shockpools for eyes.

 

The Orangutan

Brute like us. Brute of the woods.
Sternly countenanced then maligned
like cracked hutches of the counselled.

Epitaphic, ritualized buriers and so
larger than most men. Upwards of you
unfolding a napkin and as Buffon said:

fond of comfits but, unlike the baboon,
clever to show a man where the door is.
Trained servants, able to work as we do.

 
from ‘Rimbaud Villanelles’
 
14 Rue Nicolet

What is wrong with the ex-pats and the French?
Only two of us show up for The Rimbaud Walk
despite the ballyhoo: A 5 Mile Drift on Absinthe.

Sure, there’s a grin in the wind, but what prudence
nowadays; no surprise the UMP still shun a plaque
for 14 Rue Nicolet. What is wrong with the French?

Rimbaud, at sixteen, arrived here from the Ardennes
for havoc in the house of Verlaine’s new stepparents,
and for Verlaine himself, who was gone on absinthe.

At night, they stumbled home under the low-lit lamps
surveyed by Verlaine’s jilted chanson, Mathilde Mauté,
who despised the bad manners of these mountain French.

It is a house too prim for bohemians or boy peasants
agreed the in-laws. Lice-ridden, Rimbaud slept on the lawn
naked in the sun, peeled to his ribs, popeyed on absinthe.

Mathilde saw her life slide away whilst pregnant.
Verlaine threw little Georges at the wall and walked.
This house is a shamed house, censored by the French.
Before Rimbaud, Verlaine was hooked on absinthe.

Selected from White Coins, Arc, 2015
 
 

Variations on Darkness

‘How slowly dark comes down on what we do.’
Theodore Roethke, from “In Evening Air”

1.
If you drink from the shuck of the storm
you will always be tainted by its darkness.

2.
The lacquered surface of the canal at night
is darker than the darkest shroud of Jesus.

3.
One thing darker than the roses’ shadow
—the cold fire of the roses after thunder.

4.
Far murkier than possession—the shiphold
shackled to the hells of human darkness.

5.
When the rusted machete cut back the cane
it sharpened darkly in the emperor’s silence.

6.
Amnesially waiting in the cinema’s darkness
—it cannot be separated out from loneliness.

7.
The panmongolist was so afraid of the dark
he asked to be buried in a candlelit coffin.

8.
A death-pecked cry darkens the entire city
and is hoisted through the shrieking world.

 

Fragments for Ali

lend me a syllable
          from Assyrian ash
          from the ashes of Ishtar

unruffle my birdsnest ignorance

                Ali

you who brothered me there
like a son and bronzed silver
        into figures of amity

in the desert path above Tartous

          through salt tides
          and toothsucking sand

the bell of your name

                Ali

*

hardbreathing of pebblestones
                    promises
          lost to the iron-shore sea

the upturned hulls
          of fishing boats
                    wet with life

          as if hope struck
                    suddenly
    and was bundled out by the sun

*

winter ices the weathervane
ditch-lilies
          in the Alawite district
where your ailing mother lives—
                    reproach of the tank’s eye
          death-chills
                    tingling the museum gates

and somewhere beyond the pocked wall
and somewhere beyond the General’s spyglass
among shelled-out newbuilds
and frail city stanchions

          your son walks
                    the herded miles

*

blood in the jasmine
sweat of death
………………….
……………..…
how do new buds grow
from beheaded flowers?

*

families hide out for months
          in their homes
insomnia-riven
          betrayed by the dark
               and the painted
          irreality of television

relatives names
                    on blacklists
in windows     purloined
          of the old familiar faces

*

where in these Mallajah hills
is the lamb of your niece?

          sorrow of the olive grove
          bones that conspire in the Queiq river

*

an amphitheatre
          labored over
brick-by-brick

          now cordoned
where the villagers
          cannot be sure
of the informers
          from the mob

school-less children
          stare out from
pillars of rock
          to the distant

grey Mediterranean—
          mesh of Europe

*

to speak is a game of chess

terror in the telephone
where no one appears to
                   listen

          dread of breath
      silence that roars

 

The National Park

Imperious eyes of the trained killer
draped in a white flag, who would
maculate us with the venom of his clan.

Here, where death is the stone inside
a rotting fruit; what would they ask
if not turning away at the final demand,

which is speech? They enter the gable
of the national park and do not tell us
and are with themselves and are gone.

 

Selection from Everything Broken Up Dances (forthcoming from Tupelo Press, USA)
 

Lưu Diệu Vân translates Michael Brennan

!cid_190BEFB7-B172-471E-8485-CCC50C29680D@wi2_neLưu Diệu Vân, born December 1979, is a Vietnamese poet, literary translator, and managing editor of the bilingual Culture Magazin.  She received her Master’s Degree from the University of Massachusetts in 2009. Her bilingual works have appeared in numerous Vietnamese print literary journals and online magazines. www.luudieuvan.com. Her publications include 47 Minutes After 7, poetry, Van Nghe Publisher, (2010), The Transparent Greenness of Grass, flash fiction, Tre Publishing House, co-author (2012), Poems of Lưu Diệu Vân, Lưu Mêlan & Nhã Thuyên, poetry, Vagabond Press, co-author (2012).

 

!cid_1FEA160E-C469-459D-8723-B2011245D3BB@wi2_neMichael Brennan is a Tokyo-based writer and publisher. His most recent collection Autoethnographic was short-listed for the Victorian Premier’s Award and won the Grace Leven Prize. He established and runs Vagabond Press, one of the most prolific publishers of poetry in translation from Asia Pacific. His first collection translated into Vietnamese translated by Lưu Diệu Vân is forthcoming from Hanoi-based AJAR Press, and a second collection  in Japanese, titled アリバイ, translated by Yasuhiro Yotsumoto and in collaboration with Korean artist Jieun June Kim was released in July 2015.

 

Cast away

You’re a message in a bottle cast into the
ocean forty years ago at the end of a great
conflagration in a country no one cares much
for anymore. Drifting in that ocean of yours,
there are the great things to ponder: sky and
ocean, and you between with the message
you carry that no one has read. It’s all so
heartless in its ways, this mystery that was
halfway through when you awoke. Even if
you knew the beginning you doubt it’d make
much sense and somehow know now the end
will be a let down compared to the horrors
you’ve been imagining in the quiet moments,
which are many. Still, the sky is endless and
the ocean deep and its warm here inside the
unnameable. When you drift back to the
haste in which you were written, that long arc
of inertia that sent you out into the breakers
and the days heading out to open ocean, you
feel a little teary with everything that’s
passed and the hope that started it all. Some
nights, rocking on the waves under the stars,
you remember being in pieces on the shore
and her hand quickly scribbling you into
being, the distant cracks of gunfire bursting
distance, the night sky bright with burning
buildings and those rough voices getting
closer, when she stuffed you in your glass
cell and sent you on your way. It’s true you
will never get out and so you’re left to
wonder what witness you bear: an
accusation, a plea for mercy, a suicide note,
perhaps a last ditch love letter.


 
Noah in love

‘If one of us dies, I’m moving to Paris.’
That’s how it started, love, liquid and light,
no escape clause, no pre-nup, a cardigan and
fluffy slippers and the refrain of per capita
happiness indexed against inflation. #2+2=5.
LOL. It’s a business strategy, gimlet, not a
song! We’d friended on Facebook. I’d been
distracted, cruising drunk, hoping for just a
little disambiguation, to be fluently human as
YouTube. Then the fateful day she updated
her status and a little part of me died. I’d
followed their relationship for months,
lurking on the edge, thrilled by the
singularity, of love posted, cascades
intoxicating, distant and sweet. I learnt
French, then tried my hand at Java, PHP,
HTML, wanting to slip under the skin of
things, to get to grips with the apparent
devotion, the lack of context, the ease of
emotion. Think of it, Wherever US is, WE
are!! I’ve downloaded everything, I’m
learning every move she made on the
Boul'Mich' late last summer. I’m a study in
readiness, the promise of reincarnation.



Trôi giạt

Mi là mẩu tin trong chiếc chai bị ném vào đại
dương bốn mươi năm trước vào điểm cuối
cơn đại hỏa hoạn ở một đất nước chẳng ai
màng biết đến nữa. Trôi giạt trong đại dương
của mi, ngẫm suy bao điều to lớn: bầu trời và
đại dương, mi lẫn ở giữa cùng lời nhắn mi
đeo mang chưa ai từng đọc. Quá đỗi vô tình,
điều huyền bí ở khoảng giữa lúc mi tỉnh dậy.
Ngay cả khi đã biết điểm khởi đầu mi cũng
hồ nghi liệu điều ấy có ý nghĩa gì và cớ
chừng bây giờ biết rằng điểm cuối kết sẽ là
nỗi thất vọng so với những ghê rợn mi đã
tưởng tượng trong những phút lặng im, rất
thường. Thế mà, bầu trời vẫn bao la và đại
dương sâu thẳm, và nỗi ấm áp bên trong điều
không thể gọi tên này. Khi mi giạt trở lại lúc
mi được viết nên trong hối hả, vòng cung lê
thê của sự trì trệ ấy đã đẩy mi vào những con
sóng lớn, và trong những ngày trôi ra biển
rộng, mi rưng rưng nghĩ lại tất thảy những gì
đã qua và niềm hy vọng đã khơi nguồn mọi
thứ. Nhiều đêm, lênh đênh trên sóng dưới sao
trời, mi nhớ thuở còn là những mảnh rời trên
bờ và bàn tay nàng thoăn thoắt những nét chữ
thành hình mi, tiếng súng gãy vỡ lạnh nổ dòn
từ phía xa, đêm rực cháy những tòa nhà và
những giọng nói nặng nề càng lúc càng dồn
gần, khi nàng nhét mi vào nhà tù thủy tinh và
đẩy mi đi. Sự thật là mi sẽ không bao giờ
thoát khỏi, nên mi chẳng thể làm gì ngoài
việc tự hỏi mi đang cưu mang nhân chứng gì:
một lời kết tội, sự cầu xin tha thứ, tâm thư
tuyệt mạng, hoặc có thể là một tình thư tuyệt
vọng cuối cùng.


Noah đang yêu

‘Nếu một trong hai ta chết, anh sẽ chuyển tới
Paris.’ Chuyện bắt đầu như thế, tình yêu, chất
lỏng và ánh sáng, không điều khoản lối thoát,
không hợp đồng tiền hôn nhân, một chiếc áo
len và đôi dép bông cùng sự kiềm chế của tỷ
lệ hạnh phúc trên mỗi đầu người tính theo chỉ
số lạm phát. #2+2=5. LOL. Đây là chiến lược
thương mại, mũi khoan, không phải bài ca!
Mình đã kết bạn trên Facebook. Tôi lúc ấy
rối bời, chuếnh choáng say, hy vọng dù chỉ
một chút gì sáng sủa, để nhuần nhị con người
như YouTube. Rồi đến cái ngày định mệnh
nàng cập nhật trạng thái mới, trong tôi chết đi
một phần. Tôi dõi theo quan hệ của họ hàng
tháng trời, ẩn mình bên lề, phấn khích với
tính chất độc đáo, của tình yêu được công bố,
say sưa như thác chảy, xa cách và ngọt ngào.
Tôi học tiếng Pháp, rồi thử cả Java, PHP,
HTML, mong muốn ngụp sâu vào mọi sự,
gắng thấu hiểu sự thành tâm hiển lộ, sự thiếu
ngữ cảnh, sự thanh thản của cảm xúc. Nghĩ
xem, Nơi Nào có HAI TA, thì MÌNH ở đó!!
Tôi tải về mọi thứ, tôi tìm biết từng chuyển
động của nàng tại Boul’Mich’ vào cuối hè
vừa qua. Tôi là đối tượng nghiên cứu của sự
sẵn sàng, một hứa hẹn của hóa sinh.